And why a blog on second half of life?
The phrase “second half of life” came to me through a teacher I have followed named Richard Rohr. Rohr is a Franciscan priest who has articulated the concept in his book “Falling Upwards.” Here is my take on it.
In first half of life, your efforts focus on building the containers or paradigms in your life to make sense of your journey. You wrestle with what values will define how you live. You define what it means to be ‘family’ or what your concept of ‘God’ is. You discover, refine and develop the strengths and abilities that you will use in your chosen vocation. You put roots down in a community (local or extended), that reflect your values. It’s all about growing and building and all of these things bring stability and are critical to a productive life.
If you do first half of life well – build good containers that serve you well – you are well set up for a meaningful second half of life.
So what happens?? Why not just continue this ‘good life’ we have developed?
And some people do, but the second half may then end up being a faded version of first half – winding down but desperately hanging on to a few things, the best of the past, regretting the things that are ‘lost’.
I am proposing a different path. What often happens in mid-life is that ‘something’ no longer works and we are thrown a curve ball that upsets the delicate balance we’ve created. This can be as natural as all our children leaving home and parents facing the empty nest syndrome or as dramatic as loosing a job or retirement, a major health care crisis or loosing a loved one.
This change challenges us to re-ask the questions of life, questions such as What is my life about? What is my contribution? How will I relate to my family or community now? How are my finances going to be used or adjusted? Where do I need to focus my more limited energy? What relationships do I need around me in this next season of life? What does that mean for where I live?
If you try to live out these questions based on your 21 yr old answers, you’re in for a rude awakening. Not only have you changed since then, so has the world around you! You must find new answers.
In order to find new answers, it means you have to take down the ‘sides’ of the old containers that have served you so well for so long. This is a scary thing! Here you are at 50 (or whatever age this happens to you), wondering why the old answers don’t work and the ground seems to be shifting underneath you.
I just want to say that you are right where you need to be! Things are not going ‘wrong’ and in fact life is progressing and giving you literally the chance of a lifetime – to bring all you have become and all life has given you to bear on these questions to create or recreate your second half of life. Come on the journey and discover that there is MORE!
